just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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