Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize