You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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