I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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