ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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