3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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