The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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