So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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