He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
