Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
