There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
