I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
