I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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