i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize