when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize