I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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