At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
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Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
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Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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