so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
40s are totally the cure
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
