Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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