Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
