if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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