STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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