McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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