first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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