"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
