i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize