im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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