Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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