My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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