no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
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All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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