He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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