This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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