I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize