Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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