You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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