Got a toothbrush?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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