You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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