The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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