there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize