if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
