Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
