Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
