is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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