My hand turned me down
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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