you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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