So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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