Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
There r osticjed everywhere
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
