I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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