she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
