Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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