sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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