It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize