I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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