laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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