Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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