yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
