I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
