my mouth tastes like poor choices
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize