Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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