It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm at about main and main street
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
